Crest Pro Health

Me:	Hey, Jen, can you do me a favor and start using this new toothpaste I got so it's gone sooner? It's really awful.
Jen:	Dude, your toothpaste tastes like Pepto Bismol.
Jen:	I was all, "whatever, no toothpaste can really be that bad, I've tried just about every toothpaste sample under the sun, hit me with your best shot, Crest," but oh man. That is some mad unpleasant toothpaste. It's … offensively bland. With an assy aftertaste.
Jen:	It's still not as bad as the Citrus Blast Whitening Expressions (marketed by Emeril Lagasse, as in BAM! that's some gross-ass toothpaste) or the chocolate-flavored extra fluoride stuff I had for my braces, but it ranks pretty low.